Even though Eminem was the opening act of the show, girl power dominated this year’s MTV Video Music awards. Maybe that’s why Eminem had to sing and leave. He knew that it was ladies’ night at the VMAs. His duet with Rihanna was great. They look good together on stage. I’m loving RiRi’s new hair! Girl power FTW!
Chelsea Handler hosted this year’s show and she was hilarious! It was the first time in 16 years when a woman hosted the VMAs. Before getting on stage, the comedian had her ass slapped by a lot of men and…Lindsay Lohan. I know! Who? Linds told her to watch her drinking. Yeah, that is a cameo we would all love to forget. Chelsea made an entrance that was inspired by Lady Gaga, but the gig didn’t go past the Ra-Ra-Ra from “Bad Romance”, because that’s all they got to in reherlals. This year’s VMA host paid a tribute, more or less, to Lady Gaga by dressing up as crazy as she could. She had a house on her head and a dove flying out of her crotch. I thought it was Lady Gaga herself the whole performance, but the house’s garage door made things clear for everyone.
What post 2009 VMA show would be complete without a Kanye West refferal? Chelsea gave a random person the “My award-My choice” as a demonstration to what artists accepting the VMAs should do if someone would interrupt their speech. And on with the show…
Ellen DeGeneres gave a funny mini-speech before announcing the nominees for Best Female Video. It’s like she had to remind everyone of how awesome she is! Lady Gaga won the first award of the night for Best Female Video for “Bad Romance”. In her acceptance speech she told her fans that they were “the cool kids at the party”. The Monster Mommy was wearing Alexander McQueen, to pay a tribute to the deceased designer. Lady Gaga’s speech was nice, but I could’t help but noticing the look on Katy Perry’s face when she lost an award to one of her rivals. Her expression was like “You may have won this one, bitch, but the rest are mine!”. If Katy only knew…
Justin Bieber’s performance was announced by one of his biggest fans, Kim Kardashian, who remembered she had a restraining order to keep away from him. Her passion for him is creepy, because what straigh woman would go for a 28 year old lesbian? Justin first performed “Baby”, followed by a lip sync fail to “Somebody to love”. Now that’s the moment he should have said “Pink elephant, pink elephant” and nobody would have noticed the boo boo. He then went at the drums and another boo boo was around the corner: he dropped a drumb stick, but not much people seemed to have noticed that.
Justin’s menthor, Usher, had a pink elephant fail during his performance and everyone saw the obvious lip sync and the tired dancing. We gotta give Usher a break, the man is getting old and can’t sing and dance like back in the days when everyone was screaming “Yeah!”.
The cast of Glee presented the nominees for Best Pop Video and I loved it when Jane Lynch said Keisha instead of Ke$ha. It’s the girl’s fault for having a misleading name. That’s why she should call herself Ke-dollar sign-HA. Props to Michael Buckley for that idea! Lady Gaga won the award for “Bad Romance”. Katy Perry looked pissed again and she seemed to have told the person next to her “That Gaga bitch beat me again! She needs to die!”. Relax, Katy! You didn’t get a moon man this year, but you met your dream man last year. It’s a win-win situation for both of you gals!
One of the most anticipated performances of the evening, Taylor Swift sang a song about the Kanye incident from last year, “I guess you really did it this time”: “Lost your balance on the tight rope/it’s never too late to get it back… Today is never too late to be brand new… Every one of us has messed up too. I hope you remember today’s never too late…to be friends with you….You’re still an innocent.” A whole song dedicated to an idiot that did something bad to you? Come on, Taylor, you can do better than that! Actually, no, because that’s your whole song writing purpose: to sing about men that did you wrong. This performance was too deep for the VMAs. We should all forgive and forget. It’s been a year already! Get over it, Taylor!
In the skit for Best New Artist In a Video, Chelsea Handler chases Justin Bieber for his hair, thinking it’s a wig and he’s like “Weren’t you my baby sitter?”. Justin is hilarious! He thinks that every 30+ year old woman was his baby sitter once.
The douchebags from The Jersey Shore were on stage in a hot tub and Snooki dared Chelsea to join them by calling her “Bitch”. Very classy of our Snooks, for sure! The moment Chelsea got in the tub, The Situation made one of his mind blowing remarqes: “We got a Situation!”. It’s like that’s the most interesting thing he can say. It’s gotta be sad to be so limited. The funny part was when Chelsea got out of the hot tub with a big fake belly, suggesting she was pregnant. Again, “We got a Situation!”…It was annoying 5 minutes ago! Now someone has to shoot this guy!
B.O.B. had a great performance with Haley Williams and Bruno Mars and Haley sang “Only Exception”. I loved how one song went into the other. Pefect mash-up! It was a shame they didn’t win anything, hence the many nominations.
The winner for Best New Artist in a Video went to Justin Bieber who couldn’t find the stage and he looked like my cat when I hide his toy frog! Justin Bieber has comedy potential so, Disney, hit him up! Nobody threw a water bottle…boring!
Cher announced the winner for Video of The Year in her “If I could turn back time” outfit that now seems ok for MTV. Back when she was young, she was like the Lady Gaga of the MTV stone age. Speaking of Lady Gaga, she won the award for her “Bad Romance” video. She accepted her award wearing a meat dress that PETA isn’t going to be too happy about and asking Cher to hold her meat purse. Indeed, that is an odd request. Lady Gaga said that she was nervous that she would let her fans down if she didn’t win. She revealed the name of her new up-coming record called “Born this way” and immediately bursted into tune “I’m beautiful in my way ’cause God makes no mistakes…”. The acceptance speech was beautiful and she started crying and reminded the fans how much she loves them.
Kanye West wraped up the night with his “Toast for the douchebags”. At first, I thought he was talking about himself, being the self absorbed ass hole that he is. But it seemed that the song was adressed to Taylor Swift. “You’ve been putting up with my s–t for way too long,” he sang to close out the night. “Let’s have a toast for the douchebags/ Let’s have a toast for the a-holes/ Let’s have a toast for the scumbags.” I guess they’re even!
The night had great performances from Eminem, Rihanna, B.O.B, Haley Williams, Bruno Mars, Drake and Mary J. Blige.
Here’s the complete list of winners for this year’s MTV Video Music Awards:
• Video of the Year: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Female Video: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Male Video: “Not Afraid,” Eminem
• Rock Video: “Kings and Queens,” 30 Seconds to Mars
• Pop Video: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Hip-Hop Video: “Not Afraid,” Eminem
• Collaboration: “Telephone,” Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé
• Dance Video: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Choreography: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Editing: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Direction: “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga
• Special Effects: “Uprising,” Muse
• Art Direction: “Dog Days Are Over,” Florence + the Machine
• Cinematography: “Empire State of Mind,” Jay-Z and Alicia Keys
All in all, the award show should have been called The MTV Gaga Music Awards, because she was the centre of atention tonight! And congratulations to Chelsea Handler for hosting the show! She did a great job! Girl power FTW!