As far as I can remember, I was brought up to cause as little inconvenience to others as humanly possible. Hell, sometimes I used to avoid going into the living room because I knew my folks had friends over. I didn’t want to be a bother and force the adults to acknowledge my existence. Things haven’t changed that much when it comes to my early adult years – I still dread being a bother to others and I still don’t want to cause a stir. You see…behind this smart ass potty mouth, there is this human who wants to be left alone more than anything else in the world. I will not bother you if you don’t bother me – let my personal environment be and don’t cause a glitch in it, thank you very much!
Lately I have been dreading getting phone calls because I have this feeling that someone wants something from me. Call me paranoid if you will, but life has become a bit too peopley for me, even if it’s mostly over the phone. I don’t want to hear bad news, I don’t care if you need something for me – I just don’t want to do it. Is that weird? Am I losing the people skills I thought I used to have? I’m fairly sure I am becoming more antisocial than I should legally be, but I love my silence. I love not having to deal with people I don’t like and doing what they ask me to. I most definitely love not having to dress in order to impress some people that won’t move a finger to tickle my fancy (see what I did there?). I think I just don’t want any more rules and restrictions and I would love as little human contact as possible.
Impressing people you don’t like is a total waste of time, effort and personality. The only person you should impress is yourself and you should do a damn good job at doing so! Why? Because depression is a bitch and therapy’s expensive.