Don’t be a whore at the Jersey Shore!

I’ve been meaning to talk about MTV’s show Jersey Shore ever since this winter, but it seemed I never managed to put my ideas together. Basically, Jersey Shore is a reality show that follows eight housemates spending their summer on the New Jersey Shore. Their names are: Jenni Farley (JWoww), Michael Sorrentino (The Situation), Nicole Polizzi (Snooki), Paul DelVecchio (DJ Pauly D), Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Sammi Giancola (Sammi Sweetheart), Vinny Guadagnino and Angelina Pivarnick.

It’s funny how this show is called Jersey Shore and only one cast member is actually from New Jersey (Sammi). Pauly D is from Rhode Island and the others come from New York. This show doesn’t have a clear punchline. It just shows how eight strangers can live in the same house. That’s not something new. Big Brother had that years ago. So what’s so interesting about this show? At the Jersey Shore, the cast members are allowed to go out and party and get to talk on the phone. They also have to get a job at the T-shirt store to earn their living at the shore house. They all get super tanned, because that’s what a real guido does. But I’ll get to the “guido” part later.

First, let’s meet the cast:

The Girls

JWoww

*Get your hand out of your pants, you pervert!*

JWoww claims that she’s the ultimate maneater. “After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off”… That’s what she sais in the promo of the show. After this, I may have to call you a whore! Just like that! JWoww had a boyfriend back home, but she eventually hooked up with castmate Pauly D in episode 3 of the show after a drunk night at Karma, the bar where they usually hung out. Her stupid boyfriend forgave her infidelity and even sent her a bunch of red roses. What a loser! JWoww’s boobs are fake, as you might have realised by now, and so is her hair. She usually wears blonde extentions with her dark brown hair. Not a very inspired move, I might say. In the Shore house she is BFFs with Snooki. For her 21st birthday she got a boob job. She must have known Jersey Shore was just around the corner. Smooth move, girl!

Angelina

Self-proclaimed “Kim Kardashian” of Staten Island, Angelina Pivarnick is proud of her “all natural” figure. She acts like she is the only woman in the world who has curves. Angelina left the show in episode 3 and her castmates couldn’t be happier about this. She didn’t get along with anyone in the Shore house and caused drama especially among her male castmates. The drama queen didn’t approve of all the girls that were brought home by Pauly D and Mike “The Situation”. She left the show because she refused to work her shift in the t-shirt shop. She wasn’t used to this kind of work. Back home in New York she is a bartender and she does “amazing things”. Whatever you say, hon! Take care now! The Shore isn’t gonna miss you!

Sammi “Sweetheart”

“The sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet” came to the Shore to have some fun and maybe become famous. I added the last part. She caught “The Situation” ‘s eye and they had a fling in the first two episodes until she strikes up a relationship with fellow castmate, Ronnie. Sammi had the reputation of a heartbreaker all her life. But her friends still call her a sweetheart. Sammi and Ronnie have sex in the Shore house and she found that normal. Really? That fast? You could’t wait until the cameras were gone? At the Jersey Shore reunion, Sammi and Ronnie break up and she makes a hell of a scene.

Snooki

Snooki was practically the star of this show. When you hear “Jersey Shore”, you picture a 4ft.9in tall orange midget with a bump it…and there’s your reality show! Nicole came to The Jersey Shore to find the man of her dreams, but at the end all she did was make out with a couple of guys at the club and hooking up with castmate Mike “The Situation” in the hot tub. The ideal man for Snooki fits the guido stereotype: macho, full of seroids and tanned like and orange. Hey! They have to have matching skin tones! Snooki had trouble fitting in with the rest of the cast at first, but after a man punched her in the face in the fourth episode, that incident made her bond with her roomies.

Here’s the video of Snooki getting punched:

I felt sorry for her and I believe that no man should ever hit a girl, under any circumstances.

The Guys

Pauly D

Pauly D is a DJ from Rhone Island who has a passion for tanning and gelling his hair until it’s bullet proof. He owns a tanning salon in his own house and claims to spend 25 minutes a day on his hair. He is one of the most cockiest guys in the house. He is BFF with Mike “The Situation”. Pauly D is Mike’s wingman that always gets the less attractive girl. But what are freinds for at the Shore? When Pauly D hooks up with JWoww she looks in his pants and sees his pierced manhood. He told E! Entertainment that he is not shy to reveal his private parts in a Playgirl issue claiming he is not shy at all. Ok, we get that you’re not shy, but please keep that thing away! There’s nothing worse than a man slut. Who reads Playgirl? Seriously now! Stick to tanning and hair gelling!

Mike “The Situation”

The other most cockiest guy in the house has an obsession: himself! His quotes are memorable: ” This is The Situation right here, my abs are so ripped up it’s … we call it The Situation”…Please, make him stop! My head is killing me! He is so confident, he believes that any girl can fall for him. Than why did castmate Sammi trade him for Ronnie? I’m just sayin’! Mike thought that he was the big daddy in the Shore house by cooking dinner every night and organizing stuff. Also, he was proud of the fact that he brought girls home every night. There’s no secret that he was the biggest male whore at the Shore.

Ronnie

He is a tanned version of Johnny Bravo that came to the Jersey Shore with a rule: “Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore”. He eventually broke that rule when striking up a relationship with fellow castmate Sammi. They have an up and down romance until they break up at the Jersey Shore reunion when Ronnie sees a video of his girlfriend talking to Mike “The Situation”. Ronnie got in a fight with a guy on the Shore deck because he didn’t leave him and Sammi alone. He got arrested in episode 8 for getting into a brawl with that guy.

Vinny

The self-confessed mama’s boy waited all his life to have some adult fun at the shore. He wasn’t envolved in much drama and so I considered him boring at first. But in episode 6 he hooks up with his landlord’s cougar girlfriend. He feared getting kicked out of the house, but he made it till the last episode. Mike introduced him to his little sister and Vinny thought they might start a fling. But when he saw her, his reaction was: “She’s Mike without a sixpack…I was not into it.” He is the youngest cast member. Oh, and his eyebrows freak me out! Be a man and let them be natural!

This show had it’s highlights: fist pumping in the club, hair extentions, fights, hooking up with random strangers, chilling in the hot tub, getting tanned until your skin is orange and Snooki’s bizzare way of eating a pickle… 

The term “Guido/guidette”

“Guido” is a slang term for a working class or lower class urban Italian American. The guido stereotype is multi-faceted. Primarily, it is used as a demeaning term for Italian Americans, as the word guido is derived from either the Italian proper name Guido or a conjugation of the Italian verb guidare (“to drive”). More recently, it has come to also encompass Italians who conduct themselves as thugs with an overtly macho attitude.

Clothing associated with the stereotype includes gold chains (often Herringbones, pinky rings,Figaro chains, cornicellos, or saint medallions), clothing such as plain T-shirts, muscle shirts, leather jackets, sweat or tracksuits, scally caps, unbuttoned dress shirts, z cavariccis, bowling shirts, and dress suits. Slicked-back hair or pompadours are a common stereotype, as are moustaches. Recently, heavily gelled or pomaded “blow out” hair has become a common stereotype. The hairstyle is commonly referred to as the blowout or Brookyn fade – “Brook”, for short.

(Source: www.wikipedia.org)

Watching this show was fun and shocking at the same time. Emphasys on the episode when Snooki gets punched. I didn’t necessarily like it, but I couldn’t help but watching it. I was just too curious what the buzz was about. This show should be an example of: “Watch us but don’t act like us!”.

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